A Poem and a Song

You know how some people have just always known what it is they want to do with their life?   They don't have to think twice about what it is that God is calling them to do.  Often times I wish it was that way with my life.

Since I graduated high school (a little over one year ago) I have not taken any college classes.  I don't feel pressured to take any classes. The main reason I haven't is because the local college doesn't offer any classes that catch my interest.  I've never had a clear idea of what it is that I want to do in life, that is, other than my dreams of being a wife and mother someday. To be honest I'm happy being home and not taking any college classes (who wants more school, right?).

I'm at a point in my life where I just don't know what I want to do with my life. Opportunities to serve come and go and I feel so blessed by each opportunity I get to serve God.  But I feel like I'm still waiting for the next big thing to happen in my life.  I don't know when or what it is that God has in store for me, but for now I'm learning to be content while I'm waiting. 

I think a lot about the future.  I get frustrated because I want it to be clear to me which path I am to take. Learning to be patient and to put your trust completely in God is hard.  If I could see my future and what it is that God has planned for me, trusting Him would be easy.  It's hard to trust God without knowing.  But I guess that's what faith is (Hebrews 11:1).  I'm slowly learning to trust God even when His will for me is not clear.

A few weeks ago when I was feeling inspired I wrote a poem.  As I said earlier, I don't write poems that often and when I do, I don't pay any attention to the rules of poetry.  I know I should be rhyming words and stuff but I honestly would rather just write what comes to my mind and call it a poem (hey, it works for me!). Anyway, here's the poem I wrote:

I keep asking why? Why?

Why does this keep happening to me?

Why am I not where I want to be?

I keep asking when? When?

When will I understand Your plan for my life?

When will my dreams come true?

I keep asking how? How?

How can I make any sense out of this?

How will it all come together in the end?

I keep asking and asking,

You keep listening and listening,

Then I hear Your voice.

You keep saying trust. Trust.

Trust in My plan for your life.

Trust that I know what I'm doing.

You keep saying wait. Wait.

Wait and it will soon make sense.

Wait patiently and you will be rewarded.

And so I say yes.  Yes.

Yes, Your plan is what's best for me.

Yes, I will trust you and wait patiently.

I also love music and I usually can always find a song to go with whatever I'm facing in life.  Right now "The Waiting" by Jamie Grace is a song that I can really relate to.  

What will it look like?

What will it be like?

When my world turns out like you planned.

When will I get there? Feels like I'm nowhere.

My dreams are like dust in my hair.

But I, I know.

That this is the waiting.

I anxiously wait.

'Cause I hold on to love that will never let go.

And in these times that my patience is tested,

Won't you remind me that I'm not home?

Here in the waiting.

The waiting. The waiting.

All of the questions, secret confessions,

Lord, You'll make sense of it all.

And I know it's hard,

So I'm letting go of these thoughts that are taking control.

That this is the waiting.

I anxiously wait.

I hold on to love that will never let go.

And in these times when my patience is tested,

Won't you remind me that I'm not alone?

Here in the waiting. The waiting. The waiting.

Oh, and I, I know. I, I, know. This is the waiting.

Oo, the waiting.

And in these times that my patience is tested,

You are the love that will never let go.

Here in the waiting.

The waiting.

So I'll be here waiting, waiting, waiting,

Believing You'll never let go.